Comments

1. Dennis Meade says

   July 9, 2013 at 3:41 am

   Marc – I have contacted my lawyer and inquired about a lawsuit regarding your coming out story because it appears to be mine, with slight variations (KIDDING).

   Thanks for helping to educate people about your coming out and about that fact that it’s OK if you don’t come out right away, or ever. It’s a personal choice no matter what.

   Myself, like you I knew in Jr. High School when I messed around with a friend of mine in Boy Scouts. But throughout High School and College I played the straight guy, dating girls, always while messing around with a male friend of mine when I could.

   I think I went the opposite way. I joined the US Marines and then the LA County Sheriff’s Department to be the “Man’s man” rather than thet= gay guy. Eventually I learned that a gun, badge and title wouldn’t change what I was. Which led me to another realization – we are all a sum of parts, but WHAT we are is vastly different than WHO we are.

   It wasn’t until I was in my late 20’s/early 30’s that I let myself have a “boyfriend” and even that I covered with my family. My grandmother was one of 11 children and just turned 90, so bringing a “friend” along worked out just fine. I come from a conservative family and even still attend my Church as the Head Trustee so I don’t want to come all the way out, but I still attend and believe in God and try to do the best I can.

   In my 30’s, I was working for a computer company where the CTO was gay and it took about 2 years for me to come out to hi and talk to him. We started to develop a friendship, and then he had a massive Heart Attack and died.

   After his death I decided to live my life the way I wanted, gay or straight or whatever.

   I met a good friend of mine by the name of Ray Rhodes who owns a club in LA called TigerHeat – the largest weekly gay promotion in LA, held every Thursday at Avalon Hollywood. After meeting him and several other gay people in LA, I realized like you that my hiding was really causing more problems than it solved. Now I work in a job where the don’t care if I’m gay or straight, and I enjoy what I do.

   Bottom line, I want to thank you for being able to show people that we all go through this differently. There is no one simple answer, and that when the time is right, you will know and come out. Until then, there is no shame in keeping who you are hidden. If you try to force it out, you might cause more damage.

   Thanks for helping people see that we are all different, which is what makes us great.

   Dennis

2. frankie says

   July 10, 2013 at 5:12 pm

   Dear Marc, Thank you very much for sharing your personal story in such detail and intimacy…I always find it so startling that so many of us have the same threads of experiences..I am so happy that you are where you are now in your life..I can see that liberation from fear and shame in you smile and how you express yourself..many of us were not able to feel this way until much later in life….Be good…be well… be safe…
   your fan Frankie